yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
