I puked a lego.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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