yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
