Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
