also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
