It's Friday. Sex?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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