i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I could make wine with my vomit
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
