Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
