What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
