is your mom at the bar?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
everyone is single if you try hard enough
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
