Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
