do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
