So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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