You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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