Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
