Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
