So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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