We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
