you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How does it feel to date your dad?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
