Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
