My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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