your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
