I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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