If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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