The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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