I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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