Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
