It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
