if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize