I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
