You really coming over, don't trick.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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