Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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