So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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