He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You made out with two different species that night
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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