She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
