then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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