That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
