Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
