Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
