To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
