What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
