i permit you to call me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize