So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize