It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
