He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize