:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize