she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
