So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
