i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
