It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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