and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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