You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
