The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
