It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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