If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
