Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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