I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
